It's one of those days where I just want to climb back in bed, pull the covers over my head and say I'm done with this nonsense. It's Tuesday and I am having the blues. This will be my first post I will write that I won't be talking about happy things. Although this won't happen often with me because I try to live my life each and every day happy and content. I'm a tough girl. I have been through a lot and have come out strong each and every time. I know this time will be no different. I guess sometimes we all have those moments where we feel alone, sad, hopeless, angry and overwhelmed. So many emotions all at the same time. It's not fun. I don't like to be in this negative place. I'm just going through a lot and have a lot of issues that I need to work out. I need a lot of luck and some answers.
We all have problems and I think the best thing we can have are people to love and support us. I don't have much of that and that makes it difficult. Sometimes I feel like so many things are falling apart in my life. And as much as I try to focus on the good and what I have, the negative thoughts and emotions consume me.
I am so thankful for my children. They brighten my day and make me smile and pray every night that I have them in my life. But what good am I to them if I'm sad or stressed? I want to be the best Mom possible. I think being a Mom is the best thing I have ever done my whole life. I will not stop now. I want to be someone strong they can lean on and look up to. I guess sometimes we all get a little weak and fall apart a bit right? I would think that is normal. But it doesn't make it easier or help me not think from time to time I'm dissapointing them.
I pray each and every day for a change and I hope things will change for the better. I guess places like this help to write about what we are all feeling inside from time to time. Even if the post is happy or sad. I want to feel happy. I want to take every day and make the best of it. I want to appreciate and see what I have that is good. I want to love and I want to be loved. I want to feel peaceful and I want to trust. I want to know that this life I live has a purpose bigger then anything I could ever imagine. I want to do the right thing and I want to smile and laugh again. I want so many things.
I want to figure stuff out for once. I hope one day I can sit down and say, it's here. It's finally here for me. I can see it, feel it and I can believe it. I can believe in my life and myself again.
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