happy birthday niece poems

Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. ~Bill Dodds



It is a noteworthy fact that kicking and beating have played so considerable a part in the habits which necessity has imposed on mankind in past ages that the only way of preventing civilized men from beating and kicking their wives is to organize games in which they can kick and beat balls. ~George Bernard Shaw



Middle age: When you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. ~Ogden Nash



Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. ~Ed Howe



The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Author Unknown



This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning. ~Old Vaudeville joke



You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place. ~Stan, "Death," original airdate 17 September 1997, written by Trey Parker & Matt Stone



Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself. ~George Bernard Shaw



If a man love the labour of any trade apart from any question of success or fame, the gods have called him. ~Robert Louis Stevenson



Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it. ~George Saintsbury



Astrology furnishes a splendid proof of the contemptible subjectivity of men. It refers the course of celestial bodies to the miserable ego: it establishes a connection between the comets in heaven and squabbles and rascalities on earth. ~Arthur Schopenhauer



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You might be a fireman if you've ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl. ~Author Unknown



Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold



A poem is true if it hangs together. Information points to something else. A poem points to nothing but itself. ~E.M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy, 1951



We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil. ~C.A.R. Hoare, quoted by Donald Knuth



Not only must we be good, but we must also be good for something. ~Henry David Thoreau



You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. ~Kahlil Gibran



I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf. ~Tug McGraw, when asked if he preferred grass or artificial turf, 1974, BQ



May you live all the days of your life. ~Jonathan Swift